Ginger beer and Ale
Dedicated to everyone with a broken heart, to the ones who break hearts
I was in a pub last night. A girl and a boy sat down at the table next to me. I could tell there was something wrong. Her feelings were written all over her face. His face, on the other hand, was empty, impossible to read, a complete lack of emotions.
I listened to everything they were saying.
He started: I’m sorry I was so elusive over the last few days but there was so much drama going on in my life. There is this girl who is completely into me and she is spreading lies about me, because now I’m seeing a girl and the other girl is jealous.
She was staring at him, speechless. They went to smoke outside and I followed them. Outside, the girl’s feelings exploded.
I just can’t believe this! How could you possibly change your mind in three days? We’ve been writing the whole Christmas. So many messages! Did it actually mean anything to you at all? And your explanation is so stupid. It means nothing.
I’m sorry it sounds stupid to you but it’s the truth.
What truth? That you started to see someone three days after I came back from Christmas? That you completely ignored me for the last two days, not telling me anything and then you asked me out to tell me this? What is wrong with you?
I’m sorry it just happened. I didn’t plan it. I think you completely got me wrong. I’m not a dick.
Yeah of course not! I would never think so! You only proved to me how mature and responsible you are.
Are you just being impudent about this?
What does impudent mean?
It means that you’re smart about something but in a mischievous way.
Of course not! (sarcastically) So why did you invite me here? What’s the point of this? Why didn’t you just tell me before?
Because I wanted to talk to you in private. Face to face. I wanted to be mature about it.
This is so not mature but stupid.
Well, I’m happy about my decision. She makes me happy.
Well, now you’re talking. This is the explanation you were supposed to tell me since the beginning. Not that shit story about some girl destroying your life. What are you 12?
It’s true... I didn’t plan this but it happened.
OMG your jeans are so dirty. You should wash them.
I know. It’s from work. We have to wear black and I only have one pair of black jeans.
Did you know that in the very far away future, people won’t have bones in their shins because we sit too much and we won’t need to use them? Isn’t it amazing?
Yeah it’s incredible. In the past people were able to swim in the salty water without being bothered about the salt.
When do you have to leave? Do you want to get another drink or are you in a hurry?
Yeah, let’s have another drink.
They both went inside and I followed again. They sat at a different table than before.
I’m actually happy we talked about this. I think it’s better like that.
Are you sure? Well, that’s why I wanted to talk to you in person.
I’m still angry. I wish I could bury you somewhere deep down underneath the ground and I’d keep you there at least for two days, naked, cold and lonely. Karma will get you.
There’s no such thing as karma. I really don’t think you are being fair to me. I didn’t do this on purpose. It just happ..
Happened. Yeah I know. How else? And look at me when I’m talking to you!
I can’t look at you because you make me so angry.
No way! So I’m making you angry now?
You are just literally laughing in my face and rolling your eyes after everything I say.
Suddenly she was playing with his gloves.
Aren’t they for girls?
Your fingers are so long.
Yeah I wish I had a musical talent. Your hands are very small.
No they aren’t.
They were comparing hands.
Do I look like someone who’s waiting for a guy? Do I look like that? No! It’s been always the other way round. You are not even that good looking. I’m so much better looking than you are.
Great. I can’t believe this. You don’t take me seriously and you’re rolling your eyes all the time. Stop rolling your eyes.
You know it’s not even funny making fun of you because you look so guilty! This is actually so hilarious. It’s like a scene from a film. I think I’m going to write about this. May I?
I don’t think this is funny at all! I have to leave. I can’t stand this. I would like to talk to you in a couple of days again.
Why? What’s the point? You talk to me and I feel nothing. You say that you’re sorry, but your sorry, it’s worth nothing. I’m happy we talked because even if you weren’t seeing this girl, I can see that it would never work out between us.
Yeah... there’s this line from a film called Pierrot le Fou saying: You talk to me with words and I look at you with feelings. That’s why we’ll never understand each other.
The whole writing meant a lot to me. I was looking forward to every single message.
Well I wasn’t. You know when people say: regret nothing. Well that’s bullshit. I regret every single message I wrote to you. Because you didn’t deserve any word of it. Now I hurt all over.
Then they left and I felt like if this is a modern example of two people who once may have wanted to be together or had some feelings for each other, then I’m asking myself what the fuck is wrong with this world? What is wrong with people? When did they stop feeling? There are so many heartbroken stories around. I don’t know if it’s because people stopped to care and took feelings for granted. As if it was a thing that one could take to the tube station and top it up every time it was empty. Well, love is a pretty thing on an ugly street. I feel so sad for the girl, she was so sweet and for him too, he looked quite guilty. I think maybe he was too normal for her. I suppose she was too difficult for him, a little too far away from the ground. He would probably have to hold her like a red balloon on a string. Or maybe they would somehow be perfect together. No one will know. I wish we were more careful about other people’s feelings. We should count on our fingers how many hearts we break. Because that’s what counts in the end.
I truly crave to listen to some lovers one day. When he tells her: Wait for me. I shall not wait to meet thee in the shadow vale. And she’ll wait.